MUSTACHE AMPUTATION

[Pickled Mustache]

Hi. I just want to say that I'm really sorry about John's mustache amputation. I know what it's like to lose a mustache. My mustache was blown off in Vietnam. I also have a friend who had his mustache amputated due to diabetes. It was a difficult loss for him because he had grown to love savoring the odor of the ladies of the evening on he used to pick up nightly on his mustache long after he had left them.
I'm pleased to hear that John had his mustache preserved in a jar of formaldehyde. Is their any truth to the rumor that his pickled mustache was auctioned off on EBAY?

[Don Keypunch]

Oh man. I feel for John, you, and your friend. I love being able to smell that fishy odor on my mustache for days after I was with a chick.

[Beer Dead Clam]

Mustache amputations are never easy. My old man had to have his amputated. It wasn't pleasant for him.